Jake missed New York.
The California heat was stifling, and the office job where he had to wear a shirt and tie wore him out fast. His LA apartment felt empty, like he was a ghost in his own building, and no one he met really seemed to get him.
So, he missed New York, and he was definitely not making excuses.
He keeps telling himself that all the way from the airport to the office, all the way up in the elevator, all the way down the hall towards his desk, until Pat and Rosie and Jeff are clapping him on the shoulder and he sees Amir over by his desk, their desks, and suddenly things feel like they're falling into place.
Then he's got Amir in his arms, and it feels like every terrible thought he's had since he first left New York is gone.
"You're my boy," he whispers, and I love you is what he means.
They go to the D's. Of course they do.
Amir insists on skipping out on work early, and Jake agrees since it's a Friday and he doesn't officially start work back at CollegeHumor until Monday anyway. Amir gets enough nuggs to feed a small village, and they get them to go so they can eat on the couch in Amir's messy, weird smelling apartment. If you'd asked Jake a month ago, he would have told you this was his worst nightmare. Now, he can barely keep himself from grinning.
He's halfway through his McFlurry by the time Amir broaches talking about their time apart.
"So. Uh. You came back."
"Yeah," he nods, and he's still smiling like an idiot, "I did."
Amir shuffles awkwardly, like there's something he wants to say but is struggling to find the words, before shaking his head. "I, uh— I missed you."
"I know." Jake says, because he doesn't know how to say I missed you so fucking much I moved back across the country to be with you.
"Is your apartment still... your apartment?"
Jake sighs. "No. I broke my lease to go to California, my old landlord already rented it to someone else. So I gotta find somewhere new."
"You could stay here," Amir mumbles all at once, like the words are fighting to be out of his mouth as fast as possible, "I mean. If you want to."
He nods. "If I could crash on your couch tonight, I can go hunt for an apartment tomorrow. I'm sure I can find someone looking for a roommate—"
"No, I mean stay here. For good."
"What?" Jake turns to face Amir, but he looks dead serious. "Amir, you live in a tiny one bedroom. Where would I even sleep?"
"In the bed," he says, eyes wide and pleading, and Jake feels his heart flip over inside his chest, "with me."
"Amir—"
"I love you," he whispers, like he's scared someone might hear him.
"Amir," Jake closes his eyes, because Amir looks so scared and earnest and open that it makes this conversation so difficult, "you don't understand what you're saying."
He shakes his head. "I do. I had a boyfriend while you were away, and I spent the whole time wishing he was you. I love you."
"There was a girl in LA," he starts, eyebrows furrowed, too scared to look up and meet Amir's gaze.
"Oh," Amir mumbles, but Jake keeps talking.
"She was so hot, you have no idea. And she liked me, and she was smart, and funny, and again, so freaking hot. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't do anything because the entire time I was away all I could think about was you."
Amir just blinks, confused. "Me?"
"Yeah," Jake leans over to drop his McFlurry on the coffee table, blood fizzing in his veins like there was an electric current running through him, "I moved three thousand miles to get away from you, and you were the only thing I could think about the entire time."
Amir is quiet for a long moment, and Jake still can't bring himself to make eye contact. "Why?"
Why. Like that isn't the question Jake has been tearing himself inside out over since he first set foot in that job interview. Why, why, why, why don't you quit, why don't you move desks, why do you put up with him, why did you come back, why do you want to hold his face between you hands and kiss him until he shuts up?
"I don't know," Jake mumbles, because he's a fucking liar, he knows why, it's been right there, hanging around the edges of his peripheral vision for as long as he can remember knowing Amir, "I—"
Amir reaches up, placing a hand on the side of his face, and Jake finally meets his eyes, full of fear and confusion and hope.
Them, Jake and Amir, alone in Amir's dark apartment. It makes more sense than anything Jake has ever known.
He leans forward and kisses him.
Slowly, to give Amir an out if he wants it, but Amir meets him halfway, sighing into the kiss like he'd been waiting for it for eternity.
Jake's heart is thundering in his chest, but they're here, finally, thank god, and he threads one hand into Amir's hair, sliding the other around his waist to pull him closer against himself on the couch. Amir's hand is still resting on his cheek, gently caressing circles into his skin, like he's worried that if he touches Jake too much he'll leave. It makes Jake's stomach drop; I'm never fucking leaving again, he promises, wherever he goes, I go.
"I love you," Amir says, again, pulling back just enough to lean his forehead against Jake's, close enough that he can feel Amir's lips move as he speaks.
"You're my boy," Jake says, leaning forward to steal another kiss, because they both know what those words really mean.
"Stay," Amir whispers, "stay here. For good."
"Okay," Jake grins, and kisses him again, and again, and again.